The metaphorical cat -- Resume -- A note to the reader -- Especially dazzling -- Compost -- A live action cartoon -- The baby pit -- Throw momma -- It's in the delivery -- When Barry met Rob -- Make it about them -- I'll have what she's having -- Men in hats -- Crawl to the loogie -- Misery's misery -- Not a manly man -- The key light clause -- Grazer vs. the Coens -- Danny DeVito owns Little Italy -- Only then, can the healing begin -- Shut us down, Sherry -- What's a close-up? -- The psychotic nanny -- Never tell the studio -- Michael Jackson -- The mix -- S we stay. L we go. -- Donald Trump -- A broomstick up his ass -- Wool shirt -- Farina's fear -- The trouble with words -- No fucking clue -- Additional Get Shorty fun facts -- The anti-christ -- Commercials -- The single most asked question of a director -- Smoke and mirrors -- Tender lovin' jones -- The rancher and the farter -- The Michael Bay encyclical -- Rip torn -- Sugar water -- How last-minute subtitles saved MIB -- The problem with aliens -- Why are we here Mel? part 1 -- A wild mistake -- The first time -- Will Smith thinks he needs to save my life -- Sparkle creek -- On not directing Ali -- The hits keep comin' -- The superpowerless superhero -- Bad timing for a good movie -- The villain should sell ice cream -- Michael Jackson twelve years later -- Tommy waxes philosophically -- The little shit -- On not directing Jim Carrey, Part 1 -- On not directing Jim Carrey, Part 2 -- The kosher cowboy -- Proof of concept -- Faster. flatter. Part 1. -- Table reads -- The experts -- The unbearable slog of massive stupidity -- What a director needs -- Weird Technique -- Faster. flatter. part 2 -- She's greek -- The wrong city -- Old school -- Chocolate milk -- Why are we here Mel? part 2 --Mein Fuhrer. I can walk. -- Banned -- The end -- The cat whisperer -- A series of fortunate events -- Who are you and why are you here? -- Conscious narcissistic rage -- On how I almost got fired before I even started directing my first musical -- Magic hour.